Counseling with the Black Butler Boys
by DarkOtakuKnights
Summary: What would it be like if the Black Butler Boys when to Counseling? This shows you every thing that they wanted to say to each other but couldnt.The true thoughts of all the black butler boys!
1. Sebastian's first day

_Hello! And welcome to the first chapter of...Counseling with the Black Butler Boys!Wooooo...Mmmk...Well enjoy :) Review please!_

_~Ayame Out!~_

~Sebastian Michaelis~

"So, Sebastian is it?"The Counselor peeked over at the man sitting in a chair.

"Yes..."

"Now, you know why you're here, dont you?"

"I dont see the point of it..."

"You were caught in Ciel's closet smelling his clothes..."

"...Uh, I was hanging his clothes and they fell on me..."

"Right...so why where you smelling them?"

"I was drowning in his scent...I mean...his clothes ehm..."

A hour past with the counselor scooting her chair back every minute. She started in the middle of the room and ended up with her foot in the door.

"Ciel also told me that you wrote him a letter?"

"Oh, this..." Sebastian pulled out a crinkled up paper and handed it to her, it read;

To Ciel,

I want to tell you how much I love you,

so I wrote you this letter, this is everything I want to ask or say to you...

Can I have your brush? Im collecting your hair,

I have a doll with your hair taped onto it,

I like to use it as my teddy bear at night.

Sorry about your missing underwear, I steal pairs of it every night after you go to bed.

If you look out your window, Im in that tree that blocks your window, if you didnt notice, the tree was put there three nights ago.

I would love it if you became my wife, we can fix your gender, or buy you dresses.

I was eating some cake last night, and it reminded me of you, cute on the outside, tasty on the inside.

The only thing that'll come between our love is condoms...

I'll be your six, and you can be my nine?

Lots of love, your Sebastian.

By the time the counselor finished reading the letter, her eyes were as wide as could be.

"Now...Sebastian, tell me where that man in that park touched you..."

"Um? No one molested me...Relax, it was a joke, ahahahaha..."Sebastian tried to fake a laugh.

"Right..."

"Oh! Relax only boys who are way younger then me and that have slake hair and eye patches make me hot..."

"...Are you sure you've never been molested as a child?"

Hours past and the more things Sebastian said, the more the counselor wanted to take a bath.


	2. Grell's first day

_Hello, Ayame here, hope you enjoy this chapter...Eh...sorry it's just a bit...alot lame ^-^" Wrote this in class... xD I know it's really bad but I just learned how to make the bar below...Anyways...xD Enjoy..._

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><p>"...Now, Grell... I was wondering; are you a guy or a girl?" Grell looked like someone kicked him in his... wait... I still don't know what 'it' is...<p>

"Isn't it obvious?" The girl's eyes scanned his file for a gender, but found nothing.

"Anyways... Now tell me about your childhood."

"All right! So because my mother worked, my babysitter got raped by me..."

"Uh... how the heck did your mom working cause you to rape someone?..."

"Well, you see, I was a very lonely child... I also killed cats with shovels." The therapist opened her mouth to say something; then quickly shut it. Grell spoke up to question her.

"Yes? Were you about to say something?" The girl looked next to Grell and saw a notebook by him.

"Ah, is that your journal?" Grell nodded his head to agree. He smiled while handing it to her. She looked at the book with a disturbed look on her face. She read the title.

"Flaming Flamboyant Adventure... nice name..." She flipped through the book and stopped to read the first page. It read:

"Sebastian Michaelis-

Today, young master Grell requested for me to get rid of the stray cat gigalo I found, did I? No, it is currently being held in the garden Grell's Room, because I lovee my Grell."

It looked like someone crossed out and replaced them with these words.

Young Master with Grell.

Cat with gigalo.

Garden with Grell's room.

Some words had been written in blue ink; the words, "because I lovee my Grell." The therapist's eyes widened.

"Is this Sebastian's book?"

"Nope, mine!"

"Um... did he write in this?" Grell nodded, then smiled.

"I see... I... uh... think you need to take this back before I call the cops..."

Time went on and on, luckily, by this time, Grell got so bored that he fell asleep. The older woman started creeping and watched Grell sleep. She was going to wake 'it' up before he started talking in his sleep. It started out as mumbling, then turned into screaming. It went like this:

"Ah... Se... Sebastian... Sebastian! Have my baby!" The girl looked shocked, then quickly wrote 'it' was a girl. Grell's screaming quickly got worse. It went on with him yelling "catch that cat!" to things like, "stop biting on my ear!" or, "Don't touch that pickle!" Her favorite was... "Porky dumplings!" She then did what any sane person would do, throw stuff at him to wake him up.

For some strange reason she thought it was a good idea to throw a vase at him. He woke up with a crash; and also some blood dripping down from his face.

"You threw a vase at me!" He jumped up and huffed and puffed and... whoop, wrong thing.

"Ah, yes, I do that when people fall asleep..." She pointed to a box full of blue vases. "I'm not a fan of physical contact."

"Why couldn't you just throw a pillow?..."

"Well, um... I got those ugly vases from my sister and I just say the people I'm talking to break them..."

"You're kind of... a bit nutty..." Grell crossed his arms.

"I would say the same but I'm not even sure what you are..."

"Back off, crack head!"

"Whoa! I'm not the crazy one! You're the one who's in love with Sebastian, who clearly loves Ciel!" Grell looked like he found out he had three kids in another state. His face turned red before he yelled out his LOVE.

"No way! He loves me and me only!" It looked like something broke in his head. The girl who was now holding a pillow like it was her baby, slowly reached for the phone. Grell saw this and unplugged it

"Now Grell... think about this..." They heard a laugh in the corner and turned around to find a small boy in the shadows eating cake. He jumped off his chair and reached for a plate of cookies the girl had left out for Grell, which both of them had forgotten about because of their own creepiness. Ciel had a bite of the cookie before throwing it on the ground and frowned.

"I was good, but not as good as how Sebastian makes them." The girl tried to make a joke by talking about Sebastian.

"Ah, they say that love is the magic touch..." Grell's face turned into a disgusting mess, before screeching about love.

"Noooooo!" now, by half-way through the scream, half of the city blacked out from the high-pitched noise he had made. He had to stop and breathe so he could continue without scratching Ciel's eyes out.

"Sebastian is my lover!" Grell seemed to love what he'd just said. Ciel got angry and throw a semi-hard cookie at Grell. Grell was now at the door running to 'his' Sebastian. Ciel chased after him, pelting him with some broken parts of a chair he'd found. The girl, who now hates all butlers, stood there clueless on what had happened.


	3. Ciel's first day

The girl who had been through alot in the past week now stared at her next prey...It was a small boy who looked like he was about to fall out of his chair.

"Ciel..."The girl said with boredom.

"Yes?"

"...You've been sitting there for about twenty minutes now looking at my hair." The boy now rested his head on a fist he had just made.

"Ah, I've been meaning to tell you it look devastating."He sighed then spoke up. "And your dress looks like Alois lent you some of his clothes...Other then that you dont look as nearly as bad as Alois himself, I've seen little kids cry at the sight of him...Shocking that someone can be that revolting..."The therapist looked up from her note book and widend her eyes.

"I see...Well lets start this with a nice conversation on why you hate this 'Alois' person that much." Ciel sighed again.

"Well...you see, Alois is...how should I say this?...He's a bit...Sluty."

"I see...what makes you say that?"Ciel frowned, as if he didnt want to talk anymore.

"You see, Alois, I think he was raped? And the clothes he wears..."

"Okay? How do you feel about him?" Once again Ciel sighed.

"Well, I have dreams about stabbing him fourty six times in the face, while yelling "**WHO'S SEME NOW?**"The girl who was once fine, was now hoping Ciel wasnt some sort of mass murder.

"Now...If seme means top...then do you have dreams of having the no-no with Alois?"Ciel fell out of his chair and banged his head on the table, and screamed;

"HOLY-GAY-BUTT-SEX!"Ciel slowly got up and sat back down while rubbing his forehead.

"...Now do you feel like Alois, is he your so called 'Stud-Muffin'?"Ciel's mouth fell open, then he quickly yelled.

"NO! ALOIS IS SICK, I WOULD NEVER FAP TO HIM! MY STUDMUFFIN IS ONE AND ONLY..." Ciel cut himself off before he said a name.

"...Ciel...Now think about this...Alois is a good kid and I dont think any kid could be gross, or sick..."

"You havent seen him...if you see him once, it's like someone found bigfoot, then puked on it, threw glitter on it, and called it Alois..."

"...He cant be that bad...Okay, Alois sent me a letter that you wrote to him..."Ciel groaned. "Now listen to the leter and tell me if you would not send this to Alois again.

_Dear Alois,_

_I hope you know that if you died I would rejoice,_

_only because you are Alois._

_Children cry at your face,_

_If you put a gun to their head they wouldnt even let you past first base._

_If I could slap you I would,_

_but only with a ten foot pole..._

_Ps, youre a cow! Get a job!_

"Now Ciel...do you feel bad for sending this?"

_"...Yeah...I really should have made the last line rhyme..."_

"I'll be seeing you next week..."


	4. Alois's first day

Sorry it's been so long! Give me some ideas for guys to put in this story! Ah well here ya go, enjoy!

~Ayame Out!~

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><p>As the therapist looked at the blond hair boy she tried to think why Ciel hated him so much. Time went on and on, till the boy did something unexpected, which was, to chuck his chair at the woman.<p>

"Alois! Clam down! What's the matter?" The boy frowned and turned his head away from the adult.

"It's you, you're my problem…"

"Erm…Why would that be Alois?"

"…Your hair, your clothes, your face, this room smells like lesbian…"He sighed as if he were bored.

"…I see…Well I don't know know why you seem to hate every thing around you…but I thin-…"Alois cut her off.

"This room smells disgusting, what did you bescumber it?"

"Alois! Im here to help you! Stop being angry at nothing!"

"…Well…If you want to know, Ciel sent me a letter yesterday, which just proves he's dirty minded and a fool…"

"Could I see it?" Alois passed the letter to the woman and quickly gave her some glances, and insults.

The letter read;

Dear Alois,

I'd like to say I was the one who told everyone about you having microphallus.

I don't see why most people like you, you're just a bad cheap fake imitations of a kid with problems!

Get real problems, like me!

Like last week, Sebastian told me that I looked beautiful…

Yeah! Isn't that horrible!

He said I look feminine!

Don't worry though, the thing that makes me feel better is knowing that you look like a low class prostitute.

Oh! Im getting off track.

Just don't come around to my mansion any more, even though it's better then any place you'll ever live,

And you probably want to see what a GOOD house looks like, you cant come over.

Mostly because you should stop stalking my Sebastian, because that's just gross.

Who would want to wake up with your face right by them,

I swear that would give me a heart attack…

Well, have a nice day, even though people think your disgusting and hate you,

Im sure you can find someone to hang out with…

Maybe a nice cat?

Ahahaha, no I lied about the cat, maybe a fish?

Yes! A fish will hang out with you!

Just remember to capture one in a bowl,

So it wont swim away from you.

Oh Ive been so nice today,

I hope this letter cheers you up, you fat cow!

Well bye!

The councilor sighed before saying this;

"I'll see you again soon…"


	5. Claude's first day

_Sorry It's been so long! ^_^"_

_~Ayame out!~_

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><p>"Claude is it?...You look...very familiar to Sebastian..." The Sebastian look alike rolled his eyes at this comment. The therapist spoke up before Claude had the chance to say anything.<p>

"Now...You're here because for some unknown reason you're friends with the rest of the boys I've seen..." Claude gasped, then quickly shouted.

"Friends? Thats like calling a banana your lover! Even though it clearly doesn't love you, and the next day you try to call him, he doesn't pick up the phone! Then he just turns brown and rots away with out even saying goodbye to you!" Claude kicked the coffee table separating the two people. "That dic-...!" The very very concerned girl spoke up again.

"I see...so you're saying you had a banana as a lover?" She said with wide eyes.

"No! Im saying he was just a friend who I had sex with once in awhile..."

"So...he was a banana?"

"Yes?...Is there a problem?"He said with his glasses on the edge of his nose.

"No problem...Just...Um...Did...Did...He talk to you...?"

"Yes...Why wouldn't he?..."Claude said confusedly.

"He...is an it...Not a he...Its cant talk..."

"Don't worry, I found a new love, now that I know I cant trust bananas..." Claude pulled a cookie out of his pocket. "His name is Kyle, would you like to have a conversation with him?"

"...How...How would you have sex with a cookie...Thats...I...I think you need to go home...Get some sleep, and I'll drop some medication at your house..."Claude was almost out the door when she continued speaking. "And Claude, try to meet new people..."


	6. Cantebury's first day

_AnimeRomantic4Ever...This is for you~! TT-TT...xD Anyways enjoy~ Review, all those good things. This story has no boundaries!_

_~Ayame Out!~_

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><p>"...How...How do you say your name?"<p>

"..."

"Alright then...C-...antbery..."

"Cantebury..."

"Alright Cantebury, thank you...Now may I ask if you know why your here?"

"I was caught having sex with my brothers..."

"...Right...Now...What do you find attractive about your brothers?"

"Nothing...Alois just told us too..."

"I see..."The therapist's eyes scanned the room, trying to think of something to talk idea sparked up in her head once she say Cantebury's phone. "May I read your chat log?"

The man nodded his head then gave his phone to the therapist.

It read;

Cantebury- "So...Anyone up for some sex? Alois wants us to put on a show ;D"

Thompson- "Heck yeah! Brb, have to cook some food for dinner."

-Thompson logged off-

HardHardHardTimber- "While Im out, what should I pick up?"

Cantebury-"Whips, candles...And...Any sex toy you want? Lube I guess?"

Timber-"Kinky ;)"

-Thompson logged on-

Timber-"What happened to dinner?"

Thompson-"Yo babes, Hannah here, Alois told me to tell you Im in on the sex...he said it wud b fun"

Cantebury-"...Hannah get off this chat, no one wants you here...and get off of Thompson's phone! Dx"

-Thompson logged off-

Timber-"Alright, I got some lolipops to be as kinky as can be..."

Timber-"You still there?"

Cantebury-"Yeah, sorry I think I just hit someone, I had to get out of the carriage to check..."

Timber-"Crap! I killed them!"

Timber-"Bring the body home and we can cook it up...Or use it for sex"

Cantebury-"You're messed up man...Ah well I have to go...Cya!"

Timber-"Cya!"

-You have now logged off of "Sexy Kinky Gay Boys Chat"-

"I think you might need more then me to help you..." The girl handed the phone back to the male.

"...I think Im going to need time alone...Goodbye" The therapist walked out of her office and left the man alone in a chair.


	7. Creepy Cosplayer's first day?

_It's been ages...Dx I know, Im mean...0~0" Anywho, here you go!_

_~Ayame Out!~ _

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><p>"Hello? Ciel? Yes, I would like to set up a second appointment...Yes...Sorry it took so long...I uh...Just took a very very very long vacati-" The long lost therapist was interrupted from a scream coming from out side her door. "Yes...Sorry Ciel, I'll have to call you back later..." The girl hung up her phone. Then quickly went outside her door to see the cause of the she opened the door she was greeted by what seemed to be a red girl cosplaying as a maid.<p>

"Hello? Why are you here?" The girl asked with regret in her voice from not quitting her job when she had a chance.

"Excuse me...But I need you to treat me..." The girl stated boldly.

"Really? Im sorry but I only treat males...It's an idea so males don't feel threatened by another male..." The maid girl took off her glasses, before coughing to clear her throat, which was followed by her yelling...

"OPEN THE GOD DAMN DOOR OR I'LL SHOOT YOU!" The red hair girl pulled out dual pistols from who knows where, and pointed them at the therapist.

"WHAT? THE DOOR IS OPEN!" The counselor screamed, while backing away from the door.

"Oh...Sorry, if you'll excuse me, it's been awhile since I've done this...Lets retry this..." The cosplayer closed the door, then promptly knocked soon after. "Open up please, pizza delivery..."The counselor made a uncomfortable noise then she swung the door open.

"Yes? How may I help you?" She asked trying not to faint.

"TELL ME ALL YOU KNOW ABOUT SEBASTIAN!"The maid girl put the guns to the therapist's forehead.

"Um...I...I'll just...give you...a...file..." The counselor grabbed a file with the label 'Crazy psychopathic transsexual male' on it. "This is it...I uh..." The girl passed out before she could ask the glasses girl's name.


End file.
